My Wise Generation

There is a part of myself that I do not like to bare witness too. The more I am entrenched in the Christian Faith the more I am forced to face about myself. Undoubtedly, Jesus' disciples felt the same way when Christ confronted them with the truths about themselves. I had a discussion with an old friend recently about the saving grace of God, and how ironic it is that we can hate the evil things about ourselves while at the same time love the way God made us. What a difficult predicament this is for me. I am to love myself, and the way God made me, yet hate everything about myself that inhibits selfish desire. Yet I am composed of selfish desires, and the only part of me that good comes from is from God. Can I love myself and hate myself at the same time? Paul discusses in Galatians the details of my conflict:

"16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,
21envy,[d] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

Going over it, 16 tells me to walk by the spirit, and I will not gratify the inner sinful desires of my flesh. Yet, there is far more depth and complexity behind this generalized notion. Does a part of me hate walking by the spirit? Someone once said to me, "If nothing good comes from us, then good can only come from God, and we can't even attribute the smallest of good we do to ourselves." If I am a wretch, then undoubtedly a part of me will hate walking by the spirit yet, a part of me also does not hate it. What an interesting conflict within the Christian heart! I desire to do good, but hate to do good, and can't do the good I desire to do. Romans 6 gives me additional insight to my inner conflict:

16 Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves,[c] you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?
19 I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

Obedience? Slaves? Of course, walking by the spirit will lead to the fruit of the spirit, as illustrated in Galatians but there appears to be a catch. If I am a slave to God (righteousness) I will be required to do things I do not want to do. Romans only gives me two options, either I am a slave to my sin, or I am a slave to God. A slave to sin will bring about my death, a slave to God will lead to righteousness. Most days I resent the temptations brought into my life, and the conflicts I am forced in to. I resent God placing them in my life. I do not do this willingly, it is my sinful nature that resents obedience to God. Only man, with blood stained hands, would resent his creator for making him face a part of himself meant for glorifying God. Only man, would resent his all merciful creator who gifted him salvation with a simple temptation of envy, lust, jealousy and greed within that temptation. Only within a man's heart could such evil things come. "so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification." Slaves! A slave is told to obey and is expected to obey. A slave does not argue with his master, he does not tempt his master, he does not disrespect his master. If we are to be slaves to righteousness it can only result in a part of ourselves resenting that choice.

If I am to choose between being a slave to righteousness and being a slave to sin, yet have the desire to do both, then inevitably a part of myself must die. I must either die for righteousness or I must die for sin. A part of me must suffer, and a part of me does suffer. Yet Paul tells us if we die for sin it leads only to death. Death, here, seems to be spiritual death and the disconnection from the fruit of the spirit of God. I have experienced this in my own life! How many times I've chosen the lust, greed, envy or jealousy path only to find a part of myself is lost in the process. But also, how many times God has helped me to the path of righteousness that has lead to a part of myself also lost! The sinful part! The death for righteousness! The pain and suffering that comes in resisting that temptation. If we had no desire for sin, then temptation would hold no power in our lives. Clearly it does, so clearly we will suffer when we resist that temptation, just as Jesus suffered in temptation and asked, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done." (Luke, 22)

17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions,
21envy,[d] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

How true this really is in the Christian life. When I am faced with the inevitable decision to choose between righteousness (God) and my own sinful nature, my sinful nature holds a strong force over me. It wants to believe God is wrong, he will forgive me, and no suffering will come as a result of giving in. It has the audacity to tell me God has no right to tempt me or that since I am tempted, I am not living a truly Christian life. Then finally, when that decision is made, hopefully the decision for righteousness, a part of me, the part blaming God and myself must face God's truth and suffer. My sinful nature must suffer because it does not get what it desires. I may suffer for minutes, hours, days or even weeks as a result of fighting this force within me. But the promise of God holds true!

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

The fruit truly exists in the Christian life. I know this because I have sinned and suffered as a result of my own spiritual death. I have given into sin and had it result in more desires of the flesh. Yet, when I resist temptation and resist the desires of the flesh, something else exists within me that I didn't have before. Peace Joy Kindness and Gentleness I become something I am not. It it not of my own doing, I do not make myself at peace, or give myself joy. Jesus, who promised salvation to all Christians who are slaves to God's righteousness and his sacrifice produces these fruit within us! It is the inevitable consequence of obeying God. Even better, it is the promise of obeying God! I may suffer, I will suffer when I resist my sinful nature. But Jesus promises me the resurrecting power of his sacrifice resulting in the fruit of the spirit! How incredibly confusing! All the while suffering, I am made at peace and in joy through the sacrifice and help of Jesus! I may not always be at peace or have joy because I will sin, it is sadly inevitable. I will stray from his flock and his promised comfort because of my own selfish desires. Only a God of true mercy would take me back and give me infinite opportunities at obtaining his peace, love and joy. Only a god of infinite understanding could use the fallen condition of man as a catalyst for choosing between him or themselves. Ultimately, this is what each temptation asks, "Who is it that you follow, is it me, or yourself?" If you say God, you suffer to yourself, if you say yourself, you suffer apart from God.

24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

I once interpreted this wrong. Crucified, which sounded like a simple word. "Oh yes, I am Christian, so I have crucified my sins." This notion is now laughable because I became a Christian I hardly am now without sin. In fact, since Christ is in my life, I am more aware of how sinful of a person I am! Jesus was crucified, and he suffered. What this is really saying is "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have suffered dying to their flesh with its passions and desires." He is proclaiming here that one is only a Christian if they suffer the loss in the desires of their flesh, just as Jesus suffered the same way. I suffer when I resist temptation! I sometimes believe this is wrong, but it appears that it is exactly what the process is supposed to be! Praise God now I just hope that I remember it the next time I am suffering.

Craig Chamberlin